All successful disciple-makers seem to work from a common list of best practices and, over time, learn when and how to use each one. 

I planted a new tree in my front yard last spring — a beautiful little maple tree that stands about six feet tall. Believe it or not, planting it was a two-week process! It took thirteen days for the cable, gas, water, electric, phone and various other companies to spray-paint my lawn with multi-colored markings so I knew where I could not plant the tree. I spent the rest of the time digging the hole and preparing the soil. When you’ve spent nearly $100 on a tree, not just any old soil will do; I needed soil that would enhance the growth of my tree.

To start, I had to dig a hole roughly large enough in which to park a bulldozer. (It felt like it anyway.) The hole couldn’t just be as large as the pot the tree came in. Why? Because the ground soil around the potted roots needed to be good soil also. Next, I had to take a knife and cut all around the root ball so that the roots would be inclined to move out of the ball and into the surrounding soil. Last, I doused the whole thing with growth stimulant. Fourteen long days after having purchased my little tree, I dropped it into the hole, surrounded it with more good soil, attached three ropes to the trunk to keep it straight and added water.  

Nearly a year later, I’m happy to report that the tree is flourishing!

So, if we’re aiming to grow a disciple, what is the soil in which disciple-making flourishes? What is it that enhances the reception of truth and the growth of those in whom we are investing? An authentic, loving relationship. Life flourishes in the soil of relationship. I’ll go so far as to say there is no discipleship without relationship.

Jesus, the greatest disciple-maker of all, demonstrated the necessity of relationship when He became flesh and lived among us (John 1:14). He could have written His message in the sky, but He chose to deliver it in person. He surrounded Himself with people and lived life with them; He was a friend of sinners (Luke 7:34).

In Western society, we place a high value on individualism, personal space and even on our “personal” relationship with Jesus Christ — but these are some of the greatest deterrents to spiritual reproduction! It is highly unlikely that people will embrace truth if we do not share life with them.

Consider Jacob and Samantha. They went to Europe last year as marketplace disciple-makers, taking a transfer with the tech company that employs them. They had always heard that French people were particularly resistant to the gospel, so Jacob was surprised when, on his first business trip with a French co-worker, the conversation quickly turned to spiritual things. “I’d always heard that it took a long time for such doors to open,” said Jacob, “but I’ve found just the opposite to be true.” It’s not that Jacob has a magnetic personality. He and Samantha are just regular people, maybe a little even on the quiet side. But they are intentional about relationships.

Maybe you work a 9-to-5 job in your hometown, or maybe you’re going thousands of miles out of your way to make disciples like Jacob and Samantha. Either way, keep intentionality in your relationships. You’ll be amazed at what can happen!

View the full blog series, watch the video and download The Discipling Tree infographic.

Dale Losch joined Crossworld as a disciple-maker in France in 1988, and has served as Crossworld’s president since 2009. He loves to motivate people to use their God-given passions to make disciples wherever life happens. Hear more from Dale.

Italicized names were changed to protect identity.