All successful disciple-makers seem to work from a common list of best practices and, over time, learn when and how to use each one. 

I was driving along the highway in Pennsylvania, feeling steamed. My wife, Jerusha, was the unfortunate object of my anger. Nothing indicated anything was wrong (no yelling, no harsh words) — except for the steam practically seeping from my ears and, of course, the stony silence.

My lovely wife had said something that had offended me. I thought it inaccurate, unjust and just plain wrong. Okay, there was a bit of truth in it, and she had shared it in a gentle way. But in the moment, it stung. It bruised my ego and I was mad.

I’m embarrassed to say that I nursed that offense for a good long while. It churned in my sensitive little heart the rest of that day and half of the next. I just couldn’t get rid of it! I’ve learned over the years that conflicts do not go away by sweeping them under the rug; they must be dealt with. But, I just didn’t have the energy in me to fix the perceived wrong.

My dilemma illustrates a common problem when it comes to disciple-making. Where do we get the power to obey God? How do I help disciples (or myself, for that matter) deal with the powerful sins they can’t seem to lick? A close friend unloaded on me this week about how angry he is at the irresponsible behavior of people around him. In desperation he said, “I know my attitude is wrong, and I’ve asked God to soften my heart, but I just can’t seem to get over it!”

How does a Jesus-follower develop the fruit of loving obedience? Many new believers quickly revert to the way they’ve always done it: trying harder. The believers in Galatia were the posterchildren for this method, which dumbfounded the apostle Paul. “You foolish Galatians,” he cried. “Who has bewitched you? ... After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?” (Galatians 3:1, 3). Though delivered from sin by the power of the gospel and the indwelling Holy Spirit, they had reverted to a life of self-effort, putting in place rules and so-called spiritual disciplines in a misguided attempt to be holy. All along, what they needed was the gospel.

And, the gospel is still what we need today. The power to obey God comes from believing the gospel, not from trying harder. The gospel is the good news that Jesus’ righteousness is mine for the taking. How do I get it? The same way I originally got it when I first came to Him — by faith.

But back to my dilemma on the Pennsylvania highway: After 24 hours of stewing in anger toward Jerusha and being powerless to do anything about it, I came to Jesus. I said, “Jesus, I don’t have what it takes to forgive my wife for hurting my feelings. I don’t have what she needs. All I have is anger and hurt and resentment. But I believe You have what she needs and I ask You to give it to me now. Cleanse me of my anger and give me Your grace, love, humility — whatever I need for this moment.” And He did. Just like that. And it was wonderful.

The power to produce fruit is not in the tree; it’s in the seed. In the same way, the power to produce the fruit of loving obedience is not in me, it’s in the seed of the gospel. The gospel does not simply save us from sin for eternity; it frees us from sin right now. That’s why the apostle Paul said to the believers in Rome, “I am eager to preach the gospel to you also” (Romans 1:15). Disciples need to learn from day one that the power to obey God is theirs for the taking — through the gospel.

View the full blog series, watch the video and download The Discipling Tree infographic.

Dale Losch joined Crossworld as a disciple-maker in France in 1988, and has served as Crossworld’s president since 2009. He loves to motivate people to use their God-given passions to make disciples wherever life happens. Hear more from Dale.