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Stories & Blog
Removing the Root of Bitterness
EAST ASIA — Crossworld worker Sarah drove home after a cancelled meeting with one of the young women she disciples. While she was looking forward to some unexpected free time, her phone rang. Champei, a woman she discipled while in another city, was coming to town for work. Sarah invited her to stay in her home.
The joy of old friends reuniting soon began to dim as Champei poured out her broken heart from a recent painful family conflict. Being the only Christian in her family, she had refused to participate in a Buddhist ritual with her parents-in-law and thus ignited the conflict.
As Champei wept bitterly and asked why she should even continue to live, Sarah cried out to God, finding herself at a complete loss as to how to encourage her sister without being trite. So, for the majority of the evening, Sarah mostly listened and asked questions.
As 10 p.m. neared, Sarah prayed to God again. What can I say to comfort this friend?
She kept sensing the need to be quiet and wait.
Champei talked at length, then stopped mid-sentence, surprised by a new thought.
“You know what, sister?” she said. “I have been sitting here talking about all the sins of others against me, but have not once looked at my own.”
Sarah was speechless — this time out of shock rather than self-control. It's almost unheard of for people from face-saving cultures, like this one, to take ownership of their sin against others in this way.
Champei continued. “I don’t think I have been forgiving my mother-in-law! When I don’t forgive, it’s a sin. Right, sister?”
After her shock wore off, Sarah responded, “Yeah! That is some really beautiful insight the Holy Spirit has just given you.”
Champei voiced her realization that this sin does not make God happy. Sarah asked her if there was anyone else in the family conflict God wanted her to forgive. Champei reflected, then identified five people she had been refusing to forgive, resulting in a root of bitterness in her heart.
“Can you tell Jesus what you’ve done wrong and what you want to do instead?” Sarah asked.
“Yeah, good idea sister!”
They bowed in prayer together, and as they drifted off to sleep that night, God’s praise was on their lips for all He had done.
The joy of old friends reuniting soon began to dim as Champei poured out her broken heart from a recent painful family conflict. Being the only Christian in her family, she had refused to participate in a Buddhist ritual with her parents-in-law and thus ignited the conflict.
As Champei wept bitterly and asked why she should even continue to live, Sarah cried out to God, finding herself at a complete loss as to how to encourage her sister without being trite. So, for the majority of the evening, Sarah mostly listened and asked questions.
As 10 p.m. neared, Sarah prayed to God again. What can I say to comfort this friend?
She kept sensing the need to be quiet and wait.
Champei talked at length, then stopped mid-sentence, surprised by a new thought.
“You know what, sister?” she said. “I have been sitting here talking about all the sins of others against me, but have not once looked at my own.”
Sarah was speechless — this time out of shock rather than self-control. It's almost unheard of for people from face-saving cultures, like this one, to take ownership of their sin against others in this way.
Champei continued. “I don’t think I have been forgiving my mother-in-law! When I don’t forgive, it’s a sin. Right, sister?”
After her shock wore off, Sarah responded, “Yeah! That is some really beautiful insight the Holy Spirit has just given you.”
Champei voiced her realization that this sin does not make God happy. Sarah asked her if there was anyone else in the family conflict God wanted her to forgive. Champei reflected, then identified five people she had been refusing to forgive, resulting in a root of bitterness in her heart.
“Can you tell Jesus what you’ve done wrong and what you want to do instead?” Sarah asked.
“Yeah, good idea sister!”
They bowed in prayer together, and as they drifted off to sleep that night, God’s praise was on their lips for all He had done.
Your part in this story...
Sarah asks you to pray for these requests.
- Pray that Champei would follow through on how Jesus asked her to respond to her family.
- Pray that I would remember these conversations happen best when I tune in to how the Holy Spirit in leading.
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